Clade Song 12 left

Clade Song 12

Why the Dog Keeps Chewing My Socks

The same bacteria
responsible for making Muenster cheese
are the primary parasites
that make your feet
smell like feet

They are not alone

Of the host
of secondary and tertiary
bacteria and fungi
also making short work
of sweat and dead skin
Most are also used
in cheese-making

This is why your feet smell like cheese

Mammary glands
are modified sweat glands
one might say milk
is modified sweat
the other way around

Toe cheese is real

While I am generally not fond
of the odor of feet
I should say
they do not all smell the same
Each with its unique melange
of decomposers
and products of metabolism

My favorite cheese is Double Gloucester

When I asked
the man at the cheese counter
why they call it “double” Gloucester
he told me
It’s because the cheese wheels
are twice as tall.
This makes perfect sense

It is also not accurate

I can taste the difference
between single and double Gloucester
as easily as I can
between havarti and Swiss
There is a subtle
and not so subtle
distinctive tang and bite
a warm and heavy musk
created no other way

This is why I close the bedroom door

Because the dog
knows the pungency
of my artisanal feet
pulls them gently
from the laundry pile
and tears them to shreds
on the living room carpet

Clade Song 12 Right
Christopher Clauss is an introvert, Ravenclaw, father, poet, and middle school science teacher from Chesterfield, NH. He has represented New Hampshire six times at the National Poetry Slam as a member of the Slam Free or Die poetry slam team.  His work explores the bliss and turmoil of faith, teaching, parenting, marriage, and community in rural New Hampshire, as well as the obligatory science and nonsense. Christopher’s poems have been published in New York Quarterly, Plants and Poetry Journal, Sylvia, and Bureau of Complaint.  His mother believes his poetry is "just wonderful." Both of his daughters declare that he is the "best daddy they have," and his pre-teen science students rave that he is "Fine, I guess.  Whatever."  



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